In addition to acting as a sounding board, a friend or family member is an unbiased third party who can reality check the situation and remind you that what you’re feeling isn’t “crazy” or “exaggerated.” 6. Having other people to confide in is crucial. We think, ‘If only I do everything for everyone, they’ll never get mad at me.’ Wrong!” 5. I think this is the biggest factor that pushes people to hold onto unhelpful behaviors, like the need to please. writes, “You can’t change another person, so don’t waste your time and energy trying. Psychotherapist, professor and blogger Ilene S. Accept That You’re Only in Control of Your Own ActionsĬhances are, the person you’re cutting out of your life is an adult and can therefore think and act for themselves. This will especially come in handy if, during a moment of weakness, you’re tempted to reach out again. Delete their phone number and email address and unfollow them on all social media. You’ll never be able to heal if you keep a person-especially a toxic person-close to you. If, however, they’re willing to work through the kinks, then you may have a change of heart. If they deflect, dismiss or get extra defensive, then you know the next move. Try to sit them down, ask some uncomfortable questions and see how they receive your concerns. Often, disconnections happen in relationships simply because there’s a lack of communication. Have a ConversationĪfter evaluating your relationship-maybe even cranking out a good ole’ pros and cons list-it may be worthwhile to have a conversation with the other party. If the person gaslighting you is a family member or someone you’re in a romantic relationship with, it can be trickier to make a clean break. If a friend is gaslighting you, it might be time to move on from that friendship. If you’re experiencing gaslighting at work, it might be time to look for another job. Humans are imperfect and that’s OK! The question isn’t, “Are they perfect?” The question is, “Are we good for each other?” Clearly every relationship is different, but if you think gaslighting is in play, it’s always worth a check-in. But, at the end of the day, is this person right for you? Keep in mind, as Esther Perel tells us, there is no perfect partner. Is the relationship worth it? This is not an easy question or one to take lightly. Yoder, PhD, encourages people to start alleviating relationship anxiety by leveling with themselves honestly. Decide Whether the Relationship Is Worth Itīehavior psychologist Wendy M.
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